Song lyrics so stupid...they may actually be genius

Today I present to you five seven songs with lyrics so mindnumbingly bad that I actually *kinda* like them. It's no secret that I'm a lyrics snob. The song can have the best beat on the planet, but if you rhyme "save me" with "save me" (that's right, David Guetta, I'm talking to you), I'm probably going to mock it.

But sometimes--just sometimes--the awfulness of the lyrics actually makes them great. Don't ask me how this works. I don't really know. It's not a formula. It just happens some times.

And without further ado...


Kelis, "Milkshake"
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours

What more do I have to say? Thanks, Kelis, for changing pop culture forever. Or at least for the past 9 years.

I'll take chocolate. With a cherry on top.


Fergie, "Fergalicious"
I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness

I really want to know if she misspelled duchess on her album title on purpose or not. Anyway...it's catchy. It's plain freaking awful. And catchy.


Miley Cyrus, "Party in the USA"
And the butterflies fly away
I'm noddin' my head like yeah
I'm movin' my hips like yeah

Okay, this song was written by Jessie J. So it might actually *be* genius. What's that...you don't know who Jessie J is? Shame on you. Go fix that. YouTube will help.


Ke$ha, "Your Love Is My Drug"
My steeze is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love sick crack head

Made up word? Check. Mild drug reference? Check. Awesomeness? Double check.

I know there's a lot of haters out there, but I love me some K-E-dollar sign-hah. About this time a year ago I was driving around all mopey (mopy? mope-ish?) because the guy I liked didn't like me back. A Ke$ha song came on the radio and I turned it UP. "Nothing like some glitter pop to make you forget about a dumb boy." "YEAH!!!" chimed Riley from the backseat. (Okay...maybe you had to be there. But I promise you it was hilarious.)


3OH!3, "Don't Trust Me"
Shush girl, shut your lips,
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips

These lyrics have driven me absolutely crazy since the first time I heard them. Really, they make no sense. How did they even make it on this list? Oh well.

Helen Keller learned language from Anne Sullivan tracing letters on her hand. She later learned to read, speak, and write English. Well, the reading was mostly braille. There are no reports of her being promiscuous. So...she didn't talk with her hips, not literally and not figuratively. *sigh*

Plus these lyrics are just...degrading. So while this seems witty on the surface...ehhhh. Maybe.


Shakira, "Suerte"
Suerte que mis pechos sean pequeños
y nos los confundas con montañas
Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem, Shakira. Lucky you, not having to deal with it.


Aerosmith, "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)"
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady

Step one: find catchy phrase. Step two: repeat incessantly. Congratulations, Steven Tyler, you have a song!