Chivalry is dead. Really, really dead.

When two girls like the same guy, the result is something like this:



I know this from personal experience. Freshman year in college, my roommate Amy and I discoverd that we both had a crush on the same guy. She beat me with her jacket. And then I dated him. Why? Because she would have done the same. (Anyway, after two weeks I never heard from him again and it turned out he just dated me because he had a bet going with his neighbors that he could date a freshman, so you could say I saved her some pain and embarassment.)

But what would happen if two guys were in the same situation? Probably something like this:

Guy 1: I'm totally cool with you dating my ex.
Guy 2: Wait, really? Okay!
Guy 1: What? Of course not. I mean, how can I be? This sucks.
Guy 2: It was insensitive of me to assume this would be alright. I'll bow out now
Guy 1: No, no. I insist. I'll bow out.
Guy 2: Cool! I win.
Girl: It's so convenient when the menfolk make all the hard decisions for me, like it's 1847 and I don't yet have the right to vote.

Okay. What?

No really, WHAT?!? Why all this bowing out? I. Don't. Get. It. What happened to chivalrous knights duking it out with jousting tournaments? Or cavemen...doing...whatever cavemen did to show they were masculinely superior? I mean,

SHOULDN'T THERE AT LEAST BE A FIST FIGHT?!?!?

And if that hypothetical situation listed above, which is in no way related to my current life circumstances, was a romantic comedy starring Emma Stone, Henry Cavill, and Seth Rogan, now would be the part where Emma looks Henry and Seth both in the eye and says:

Seriously? Forget this. I'm running off with James Marsters now.

Right after I battle Megan Fox.

*sigh* Or...maybe not. Maybe I can Emma would figure out what my her heart really wants, and go forward with that decision.