Dear Earth,
What is happening to you? Are you sick? Is it that whole ozone depletion thing that’s throwing all of your systems out of whack? Earthquakes in Haiti, Chili, Mexico, and China; volcano explosions in Iceland. I’m starting to wonder if it’s a mental breakdown you’re having, or a temper tantrum.
Let’s see…natural disaster in North America? Check. South America? Definite check. Europe? Check. Sounds like Africa and Australia are next. Or maybe Antarctica -- watch out, penguins!
So, Earth, what do I need to do to make you all happy again? Recycle more? Stop using aerosol hairspray? (*sigh* Yes, I know that makes the ozone layer mad at me, but my hair has never been happier. You’re saying I have to choose?)
I’ll do what I can to be nice to you. I do appreciate you, I promise. I much prefer living here over, say, living on the moon. Or Mercury; that whole hot/cold thing would wreak havoc on my Earth-based carbon life form.
Happy birthday Earth! I didn’t get you a present, so I hope you accept this letter as a somewhat decent substitute.
Sincerely,
Amanda
PS: Penguins really are cute. Please don’t earthquake Antarctica.
I agree we don't need an earthquake in Antarctica! Because it would probably cause a Tsunami somewhere else.
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